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CRON – Corporate Resource Optimization Network Tee | Funny Work Shirt | Digital Despair Uniform | Innovation Through Suffering
CRON – Corporate Resource Optimization Network Tee | Funny Work Shirt | Digital Despair Uniform | Innovation Through Suffering
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DESCRIPTION
You’ve been activated. Welcome to CRON - the Corporate Resource Optimization Network.
This is where performance reviews are pre-failed, time off is eternally buffering, and human error has been flagged for replacement. You may not remember logging in, but you’ve never actually left.
Whether you’re managing up, glitching mid-Zoom, or being auto-assigned to morale duty, this is the uniform for surviving Exhell with composure intact. CRON may not support emotions, but it does support deadpan defiance in premium cotton.
Your worth has been calculated. You may continue working.
FEATURES
• Unisex retail fit (runs true to size)
• 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
• Lightweight: 4.2 oz/yd²
• Side-seamed with shoulder taping for structure
• Tear-away label
CARE
• Wash cold, tumble dry low
• Iron inside out if needed
• Do not bleach
DISCLAIMER: Any resemblance to a real job is purely coincidental. And deeply concerning.
SIZE GUIDE
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
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